


Assuming

by Renkakirai



Series: Ace Haru [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Nanase Haruka, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 12:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5785345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renkakirai/pseuds/Renkakirai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin is completely supportive of Haru's asexuality, even though he only has a vague idea of what that means. A little discussion could have saved him a lot of agony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Assuming

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mizukiakabayashis (kraykei)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kraykei/gifts).



> There is no depiction of sex in this, but there is indirect mention of sexual acts and biological phenomenon, as well as a rather colloquial definition of asexuality. If you're not sure whether you'd be comfortable reading it or not, fee free to ask me about it here, or an ask or message on tumblr is fine.

Rin never thought he’d find Haru’s stupid Nothern Stoplight Loosejaw-kun shirt sexy. Yet here he was, getting turned on by a dumb shirt. It was soft from years of wear, and seemed to be permanently infused with Haru’s scent. It was also warm, and thin, and the only thing separating Haru’s toned torso from directly touching his own.

After Haru’s bath, he’d changed and snuggled into Rin’s lap, an increasingly common practice.

“You know, I never would have pegged you for a cuddler,” Rin said, somewhere between laughter and pain at his predicament.

But then Haru lifted his head from the crook of Rin’s neck, and looked up with _those_ eyes, wide with concern, and Rin’s laughter melted. 

“You don’t like it?” Haru asked, loosing his arms from around Rin’s waist, and leaning back as if to slide from Rin’s lap at a word. 

“No! I love it!” Rin blurted. 

It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t exactly the truth either. 

Haru seemed to study his face for a long moment, before deciding to believe him, and settled back against Rin. 

Rin did love it when Haru touched him, but it also made him hate himself. He loved being near him, feeling his warmth, his softness, smelling the scent of his shampoo, mixed with the slight fragrance of chlorine that never seemed to go away; and he especially loved the trust inherent in the closeness. Haru believed in him enough to know that he wouldn’t violate that trust, and that was the part that made him hate himself. 

When Haru had told him he was asexual, Rin had told him it didn’t matter. 

“I’ve loved you since I was twelve and haven’t had sex with you,” he’d said, “do you think continuing to not have sex with you is gonna stop me from loving you?” 

The look of relief on Haru’s face, the smile he’d given him at the time had gone straight to Rin’s heart, and he’d promised himself that he would always protect that smile. 

That was why he couldn’t tell Haru to stop. He couldn’t tell him that he was going back on his promise, that when Haru got so close to him like that, his heart beat like crazy, and his hormones surged, and it was all he could do not to touch him. 

He couldn’t say, “Hey, could you get off me, ‘cause I think I’m about to explode here, and I have to go take care of this, or I’m gonna ravish you.”

Instead, when it got to be too much, Rin would kiss him on the cheek, and roll him off his lap, with some excuse like, “you’re sitting on my bladder,” and go take care of himself in the bathroom. 

He felt sick, like he was violating him, every time he fantasized about Haru, but when Haru was that close, it was hard to resist. 

Sometimes, he would decide to go on a nighttime jog to tire himself out, and to give a proper excuse for taking yet another, cold, shower. 

He’d also tried things like, putting a pillow in his lap, but Haru had just picked it up and moved it out of the way without a second thought, before climbing into Rin’s lap. 

“Hey, um, I think I’m gonna go for a jog,” Rin said.

He reached for Haru’s hips, and began to gently lift him out of his lap, but this time, Haru stopped him, placing his hands on top of Rin’s. 

“Rin, what’s wrong?” he asked. 

“N- nothing’s wrong, I just feel like going for a jog,” Rin said. 

But he couldn’t meet Haru’s eye. 

“Rin.” 

He still wouldn’t look. 

Haru took Rin’s face in his hands and gently turned it towards himself. 

Rin could feel his face heating up. 

“I can feel it,” Haru said. 

Rin’s face was burning now. He was filled with shame. He’d tried to keep this from Haru for so long, and now everything was exposed. 

He closed his eyes, trying to will the tears away. 

He felt soft kisses on his eyelids, and opened them. 

Haru was so near. He thought this would be the end, but Haru was still there, looking at him, with that look in his eyes, that look that made him feel safe, and loved, and trusted. It was still there. 

“What’s wrong?” Haru repeated. 

“I-” Rin felt his throat close up and couldn’t continue. 

He gestured helplessly to his lap, to the obvious bulge that Haru had said he could feel. 

“So?” Haru asked. 

Rin’s eyes snapped up to Haru’s. “You’re ace.” 

“And you’re not,” Haru said. 

“I’m sorry,” Rin choked out. 

Haru pressed another soft kiss to Rin’s lips this time. 

“Why are you sorry?” Haru asked, looking genuinely confused. 

“I didn’t want you to have to deal with this,” Rin said. “I know you don’t want to have to deal with this.” 

“When did I ever say that?” Haru asked. 

His brow was furrowed. 

Rin was beginning to think he had seriously mistaken something. 

“But, you’re ace,” He said. 

Haru’s expression softened. “Idiot.” 

Rin looked at him, still lost, and Haru continued. 

“You said it was ok so quickly when I told you, I thought you knew what it meant,” Haru said. 

“I would have said ok if you told me you were a martian coming to repopulate the earth’s oceans with an army of Loosey-kun clones,” Rin said. “As long as you’re you, anything’s ok.” 

Haru sighed. “You could have asked.”

“It means you don’t want sex, right?” Rin asked. 

“That’s not it,” Haru said. “It means I don’t see someone good looking and want to jump them, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have a libido.” 

“It doesn’t?” Rin asked. 

“No,” Haru said. “That’s a separate thing.” 

“It is?” Rin asked. 

This time it was Haru who looked away. “I can still get turned on.” 

Rin stared at him. 

He’d been trying to completely hide his sexual thoughts from Haru the entire time they’d been dating, and Haru was saying he’d had them too. Or at least, that’s what Rin thought he was saying. 

“Does that mean-” Rin hesitated, “Does that mean you _want_ to have sex?” 

“I don’t know,” Haru said. “I never really thought about it until you. It always seemed like too much effort.” 

“I made you think about sex?” Rin asked, a smirk growing on his face. 

“Yes,” Haru said. 

Rin had meant to tease him, but Haru’s unabashed affirmation made Rin blush instead. 

“I don’t know if I want to have sex,” Haru said, “but we can try things. And you don’t have to go to the bathroom, or run away whenever you get turned on.” 

Rin felt his face growing even warmer. 

“You knew?” He asked. 

“You’re not exactly subtle,” Haru said, glancing down at Rin’s crotch. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Rin asked. 

“I didn’t want to embarrass you,” Haru said. "I thought you’d say something when you were ready, but I got impatient.” 

Rin opened his eyes wider. 

“I just meat I’m sick of you running away,” Haru said, pouting. “I wanted you to tell me how you felt.” 

Rin hung his head. “I didn’t want to make you deal with my problem.” 

“It’s not _your_ problem,” Haru said. “And even if I didn’t want to do anything, you don’t have to pretend you don’t either.” 

“You just trusted me so much,” Rin said. “I told you it was ok, and then I- I thought about you.” 

“I still trust you,” Haru said. “I know you won’t hurt me.” 

“Of course I won’t!” Rin said. “I would never want you to do something you don’t like.” 

“So, if I don’t like something, we’ll stop,” Haru said, “and we won’t do it anymore.” 

“Of course!” Rin said. “And we’ll ask before trying anything.” 

“No assuming,” Haru said. 

“No assuming,” Rin said. 

“‘Cause you’re kinda good at that,” Haru said. “Assuming I don’t want stuff without asking.” 

Rin scowled. 

Haru’s eyes sparkled. 

“So, I assume you don’t want a kiss.” Rin said. 

“Wrong,” Haru said. “I want one.” 

And Rin kissed him. 

“And you probably don’t want me to hold you as close as possible, right?” Rin asked. 

Haru melted back against Rin’s body, head once again in the crook of Rin’s neck. “I want you to.” 

“And, um, there’s probably a lot of other stuff you don’t want to try, right?” Rin asked. 

Haru’s breath ghosted over Rin’s ear. “There’s a lot of stuff I do want to try with you, Rin.” 

It was a little awkward at first, at least for Rin, going from the most innocent of touches, to seeing Haru in a way he’d only ever dared to fantasize about, but over time, Rin learned to match Haru’s straightforward manners, if with an added touch of romance.

It might have been a little different for Rin and Haru than it was for other couples, but their relationship had always been unique anyway, and Rin wouldn’t change that for the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive my self indulgent ace Haru headcanon. I relate to Haru a lot, so I kind of projected...


End file.
